She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
