I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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