Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
