I wanna bring you to show and tell
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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