never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.