We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I supernannyed him into submission
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.