Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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