The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
50% drunk capacity currently
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
