Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
