Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
