Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
