Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
