I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
