I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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