i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He? As in you personified your dick?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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