i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
