I just made out with a guy for $7.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
