where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
