would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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