it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
