NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
