yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
