I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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