so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Pooping to opera.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
