Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
