paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
