Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize