Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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