My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
