census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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