okay pat passed out under dana's car
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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