just come out here and I will go home with you...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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