Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
