Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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