feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
