She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
