I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
