Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
