at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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