Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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