I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
