You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
