you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you never un-have a 4some
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
