You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
