I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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