I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We don't watch enough power rangers
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
