You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
