woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
