I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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