this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
