the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize