I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
