so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
