Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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