So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
