I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
