i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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