Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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