Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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