Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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