bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
