I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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