I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i think i have two assholes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
