I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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